


half the world away

by girlslikelip



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 21:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19385272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlslikelip/pseuds/girlslikelip
Summary: Jungeun loved Jiwoo, but she felt like it wasn't enough.





	half the world away

**12 months ago.**

Jungeun heard her phone ring, she knew it was Jiwoo calling again, but she had just decided that she wouldn’t bother to decline the calls, she’d just let the other girl call until she got tired. Jiwoo let out a deep tired sigh on the other side of the phone. She never felt so useless before.

_“Hey, baby. It’s me, Jiwoo. I know that you’re having a hard time now, and you may need some space, but please, talk to me. I wanna help you; I want you to feel good again. I promised you that I would be there for you at your darkest times too._

_I love you. Please, call me back.”_

Jungeun started to somehow get angry at Jiwoo for calling her every single day and not letting her breathe for a minute. And it was stupid. She felt stupid. She didn’t know what was happening to her, she just wanted to stay away from everyone around her and, unfortunately, from Jiwoo, too.

_“Sooyoung will throw a party at her house, are you going? I hope so. I think you may need some distraction and music. I really wish I could see you so my day would get better. I miss your voice. I miss holding your hands and just talking to you._

_Call me back if you can.”_

She didn’t know what to do or say, she just wanted to stay home forever and never talk to anyone ever again. She felt empty and unloved, even though she had the best girl in the world trying to save her.

_“Hello, it’s me, again. It’s been weeks and you haven’t answered me, but don’t think I will give up that easily. Please, make sure you’re eating well and drinking a lot of water, I don’t want you to get sick. Call me anytime.”_

_**I’m sorry, Jiwoo.** _

She’d say that in her head, whenever she’d hear her phone ringing. 

But she'd never answer it.

**10 months ago**

Jungeun felt helpless. She'd always avoid her friends, her family, and even the most important person of her life. All she wanted was someone to talk to, but she didn’t want anyone to know how devastated she was feeling. She didn’t want to harm anyone else.

_“Hello. It’s been a while since the last time you talked to me. You saw me the other day but you didn’t even try to talk to me. Pease, baby, tell me, what have I done wrong? Did I hurt you? Did I do anything that made you upset? I just want you to talk to me and forgive me. I love you.”_

The blonde girl hated crying in front of other people. When she saw Jiwoo at uni, she tried so hard not to start crying in public, it made her feel worse. She never felt so sick before.

**_I just want this to end._ **

_“Hey, baby, it’s me. It’s your birthday! I can’t believe you’re already that old, you were so little when we first met... I just wanted to call you and tell you that I miss you so so so much, and I’m sorry that I can’t be there with you right now. I wish we could celebrate such special day together, like all the other years. I hope you’re happy, and that you’re thinking of me every day, like I think of you every second. I hope we can meet again soon.”_

_Worst_ day ever.

Jungeun hated birthdays. She didn’t hated it as much as she does now, because she would always spent her day with her best friend, the one who would always make everything better. But she couldn’t have Jiwoo right now.

_“Hey, it’s jiwoo again. sorry to bother, I just forgot to tell you that… I love you._

_Have a nice birthday.”_

Jiwoo turned off the phone and sat on the floor at the front door of her dorm. That was the day she felt the most pain in her chest, the day she felt the emptiness in her heart. She knew that the girl wouldn’t answer her call, but she’d always say that hope should be the last thing to fade away. She would never give up on Jungeun. She stayed there, looking at nowhere, and just cried for long minutes.

That’s everything she could do.

**9 months ago**

Jiwoo looked at her phone and stopped to wonder if that was really worth it. But she’d always tell herself that she wouldn’t give up on Jungeun, and she would never let her go just like that. No matter how much it hurted. Sometimes we have to deal with sudden things that would happen in our lives, even when it felt like a punch in the face. She didn’t mind, really.

_“Hi, Jungeun. This is Jiwoo. It’s been three months now and you never called me back. It feels like you're half the world away. I saw you yesterday with that one girl from economics, you looked really happy with her. But I still wonder, what happened to us? I guess all the plans and dreams we had are gone. I wish the universe would have some mercy on me…”_

It took Jiwoo a long minute to start talking again, she really didn’t want to cry while she’d call Jungeun. She wanted to be strong. Or at least, pretend to be.

_“Sometimes I walk alone at the campus trying to find your face, and when I see you smiling with some other girl, it breaks my heart, truly. It hurts to know that someone else is making you so happy… It’s like we never happened. But if you say let’s try again, I’d be ready.”_

Jungeun felt the color draining from my face. All she wanted was to meet new people and spend time with them, trying to stay away from the dark thoughts in her head. It was selfish, really. But she felt like it was the right thing to do.

_**I’m sorry, Jiwoo.** _

Again, these were the worlds that would echo in her head all the time.

She did felt sorry, but she didn’t know what to do about it.

**7 months ago**

_“Hey, it’s me, Jiwoo. I know it’s late and I didn’t wanna bother you, but I can’t sleep at all. I’m so sorry, for whatever the hell I did wrong. Sorry if I ever did something so bad that you would break us apart like this. I know that you’re probably hurt. So am I._

_My heart hurts, I actually feel suffocating from that. I thought that maybe we could work things out and that we would be fine, but it’s too far now, isn’t it?”_

Jiwoo couldn’t help but cry. She felt hopeless.

_“I tried to be good at love, but I’m no good at this… You are everything I need, but we are so far from each other now, that I could die just like that. I know that you have somebody else now, and you’re not trying to hide it. I have nobody. I’ve lost myself, I’ve lost it all. But nothing heals the past like time. So this is the time to say goodbye. Please, be happy._

_I love you.”_

And that was the last time Jungeun received a call from Jiwoo.

She didn’t felt relief like she thought she would. She’d go back to old voice messages and hear every single word Jiwoo left for her to listen. Jungeun knew what she was doing was dumb, and she would fully regret it in the future, but she became numb, and decided to ignore all of that and move on.

**Today**

“Are you serious right now?” Hyejeong looked at Jungeun , she couldn’t tell if her younger sister was genuinely joking or if she was dead serious. “I mean… You are the one who left her, you ended everything you two had. It’s complicated, Jungeun.”

“My whole life is complicated.” Jungeun wanted to cry so bad whenever she’d think of Jiwoo. “I had it coming.” She laughed at herself for putting her in such a stupid situation.

“I don’t doubt that you love her, really. But don’t you think this would only hurt you even more? If you think she had moved on…” Hyejeong really wanted to help her younger sister, and she had to hit a nerve so Jungeun could come back to reality. “Just like you wanted her to.”

Jungeun sat on the sofa at their living room, she got this pillow next to her and started punching it, as if it would make her anger go away. “I was sick. I was so fucking scared, and I had every bad feeling back then. I didn’t knew how to save myself from that.” She put her head on her hands and took a very deep breath. “I ruined everything.”

“Listen, Jungeun. I know that you went through a lot back at that time, but… You are a new person now, right? We all have decided to leave those dark times in the past. Jiwoo was your best friend before anything else. She was there for you, and she wanted to help you! I’m sure she would be so happy to know that you’re better now.” Hyejeong hugged her sister. That’s all Jungeun needed at that moment.

“I’m being very honest with you. If you still love that girl, go for it, really. But make sure no one gets hurt this time. I don’t wanna see you like that ever again.”

“I just wanna sit here and cry forever while I listen to a random playlist full of sad songs.” Jungeun laughed at herself. That situation was so humiliating. “Thank you for helping me, anyway”

“You can do that after class.” Hyejeong threw Jungeun’s bag at her and got her keys, they were ready to leave for college. “By the way, your girlfriend called, she said she wants to see you… Again.” She opened the door and all she could hear was Jungeun groaning at the back.

“She’s not my girlfriend! I’ve told her I don’t want anything with her anymore. First, because I don’t have feelings for her at all. Second, she’s a complete psycho!” Shaking her head, Jungeun entered the car. “I literally just want some peace and love, damn.”

Hyejeong gave jungeun a warm smile and held her hand “It’s gonna be okay, baby. Be patient."

_

Jungeun was so nervous that she was sweating like crazy, she even felt her hands getting cold as hell. “What the fuck do I do?” She started walking in circles, and whispering things no one could really hear.

“She’s getting on my nerves.” Jinsoul looked at Sooyoung, as if her life depended on her.

“If you don’t sit your ass down right now I will beat you up.” Sooyoung was really about to lose her patience, her best friend was just being annoying at this point. “Just go to her, and tell her that you need to talk. Fucking simple, Jungeun!” She stopped her friend, to look her in the eyes. “She is right there. Alone. I’m pretty sure she won’t run away from your like you’re the plague.”

Jungeun wanted to laugh but she felt like throwing up. She hated herself for that.

How could she be such a cruel person, and do all she did to jiwoo? How could you break that girl’s heart and act like you never knew her? Loving Jiwoo was easy. Anyone who knows Jiwoo, loves her. She’s smart, pretty, hard-worker, and has the biggest heart in the world. A heart that maybe jungeun never deserved. No one besides Jungeun had ever conquered Jiwoo’s love and trust before, no one had Jiwoo feeling the way jungeun did. How could I just throw all of that away?

**_Classic me to run when it feels right._ **

Jungeun tries to fight her thoughts whenever she thinks about the situation she put her and Jiwoo in, only to lose it again.

Jungeun wanted to talk to Jiwoo. That’s all she wants, nothing else. The girl knew this would happen anytime, she couldn’t help but feel like pure shit. Seeing Jiwoo with someone just made her chest hurt even more, the pain would just grow stronger and make her cry even more, make her feel even more regret and disgust.

But little did Jungeun know.

Even if Jiwoo tried to pass her days with someone else, she knew they wouldn’t stand a chance compared to Jungeun. Jiwoo just wished she had an explanation, so she could understand what happened at all. All these months, she tried her best to figure out what she has done wrong, why would Jungeun forget her like that? It really had Jiwoo thinking if Jungeun has ever loved her. And if all they had was real, how could Jungeun just walk away like that?

Sooyoung looked at her friend with a sad face and hugged her tight. “Go. Try again.”

And with that, Jungeun walked out towards Jiwoo’s table.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a sad/happy love story I wanna share. I don't know how many chapters I will add to this, but I'm sure there will be more.  
> Plus, english isn't my first langague, so I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes.  
> I hope you like it.


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